Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Can you explain the difference between sunblock and sunscreen for the face? Which one is more suitable for oily skin?

I don’t buy bullshit

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

What is the one thing you don't understand that others do?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

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It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Do you think Taylor Swift will pay a price in the marketplace for endorsing Democrats?

I can count

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have complete contempt for fakery

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I can read

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

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I actually pay taxes

I understand how hurricane paths work

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

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I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

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I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

What would happen if the US government told the British government in no uncertain terms all RAF bases with USAF personnel now must follow the Constitution and us law, and if the UK tried to defy this, the US military would directly attack the UK?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have a reading level above third grade

I refuse to date any women that are social media influencers, content creators, TikTok celebrities, and use Only fans. Would this be seen as normal, or would I be going too far? Why?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

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I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

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I don’t cotton to rapists

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

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Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I see through liars

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”